After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
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