Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
