My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
