my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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