Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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