on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Is Oprah even human
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
