I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I think I died a long time ago.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize