fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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