The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
