remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
