woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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