i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
