Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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