Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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