she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
