What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
