Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize