Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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