I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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