I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
