I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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