operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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