it's like her boobs came off with her bra
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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