Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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