I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
