More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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