I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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