the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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