One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
