i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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