i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
