yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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