How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
