Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize