it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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