Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
