Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize