On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize