your parents love me but you hate me
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
