I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
