Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
