Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
accomplished twins. life is a go
it's not cheating when I paid for it
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
