I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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