TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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