There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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