Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
