Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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