hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
