do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize