I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
