we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
