That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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