how can u be prego again
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
