the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
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