Nicole vs. Life
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
