did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
