Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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