yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
