i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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