She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
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Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
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While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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