on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You are the jesus of drinking
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize